4-17-13

Hey Everyone,

I haven't heard a lot of feed back about how my blog is, so definitely comment your thoughts. And thank you to those who did :)

This week has been kind of tough for me because I am not seeing my therapist at all this week. And there really just isn't anything going on. I find myself sitting in the library or in Starbucks just typing away (like currently). I am not seeing my psychiatrist either. Although my psychiatrist as of late, has not been helpful. Sure he will give me medication but he only spends a matter of 7-10 minutes with me every month. And he doesn't explain why he prescribing the medications he is. Well good thing I have come across some one who seems to be a really good psychiatrist. Lets hope she is.

I have just been getting that overwhelming feeling of sadness lately. I don't know why. People ask why people are depressed, and sometimes there is no God given reason why. I have nice parents, a dog that loves me, an opportunity to go to college, opportunity to get a job, but its relentless the feeling of being stuck in a cob web of paralyzing saddness.

And I am not so sure what to do about it. I guess all I can do is to keep on keeping on. Thinking about the twists of my eating disorder, the leaps and bounds of my mood just makes me wish things could be as easy as the seem for other people. There has to be something out there for me though. I have seen some people who were faceing such life crisis and now they are successful and not letting the fears they probebly still have pull them down. They are inspiration to me and I am thankful to have them in my life.

During my months in treatment at Sheppard Pratt and Johns Hopkins Hospital I met people who I connected with like no other. When people are thrown into an enviroment that controls every aspect of their day, and they are already fragile- bonds are made. And I can say some of my truest and dearest friends were people at met in these facilities. And I miss them dearly. Through this blog I hope to stay connected to some of them though.

Well I guess tommorow I will start by picking up my story where I left off around age 12. :)