June 8, 2013

Wow what a crazy week it has been. Although I am glad I am taking classes this summer I miss my blog. So here is a much needed blog entry. It looks like it has been exactly a week since my last entry and a lot has certainly happened. I am doing well in my classes so far, although they really aren’t much of a challenge. I do have my first “real” challenging homework assignment this weekend in my English class, which is to write a 9 paragraph classical persuasive essay. I have a few ideas in mind as far as a topic, so we will see how that goes.

I left off in my story, at my high school graduation which was one of the most depressing events although still a sacred moment of my life. I had made very few if any real connections during my high school career due to my eating disorder and numerous bouts of hospitalizations. I was simply an outcast. I was more so an unfamiliar face in the school. At graduation I was still one of the 800 students that wore the dark blue gown and I even had the golden tassel representing the distinction of graduating with honors (3.0 GPA or above). Nearly half of class graduated with honors and of those nearly another half graduated with a 4.0 or above, so I felt no real recognition. My school was definitely a smart ass school. I was so glad the gown was long and non-shape conforming because I had recently gotten out of treatment and I felt again like a beached whale (again).

My last name is Adams and I was approximately the 6^th or 7^th student called across the stage in front of thousands of cheering parents/friends/families but I knew the only 2 people in that stadium that actually knew who I was, was my sister and my mom. I was praying to God that I would not be one of those students who tripped and fell flat on their face as they were called across the stage, and thank God I wasn’t. It was all over very fast.

The saddest part of the entire event was after the ceremony and everyone was with their group of friends, some were crying and some were laughing and all I could think of was “get me out of here”. I had no friends saying good luck with the rest of life, or congrats, or anything. I had my mom in the back of the crowd ready to drive me home, and that was that. It still was my high school graduation so I am thankful for it but it was a realization that my actions from the last 4 years had an impact on that day.

Community college is so much better in the sense that there is no such thing as a “traditional” student. There are 18 year old students fresh out of high school, and there are 60 year old students taking classes as a part of their retirement. So I feel like I fit in much better in community college.

Well…I know today wasn’t much of an entry but I really must start this homework assignment, so I promise another blog entry in the very near futureJ.